almost unheard of for me to walk for more than 100 meters without getting
piercing stares from boys around my neighborhood or that irritating whistle
from male passers-by.
I eventually, “fell in love.”
messages, the sweet nothings and whatever goes along with falling in love for
the first time is something I dare anyone to forget.
and it’s natural for any girl at the time to believe that this will end up in
when you are at the apex of enjoying what you thought was a perfect
relationship. Sometime he might never pop that question. And you will never
get the time to give that magical answer – YES.
eventually takes its toll on the relationship.
take it anymore, I decided to indirectly throw a few hints here and there, but
they unbelievably fell on deaf ears. That phrase, ‘I am not ready yet’
became imprinted at the back of my mind.
heard of a woman proposing.
pursue a woman and subsequently make her his better half. As such, the notion
of a woman chasing or proposing marriage to the opposite sex was – and still
is – practically deemed as a sign of the apocalypse.
roles previously reserved for men – is it an anomaly for a lady to propose
marriage to the man she loves? As is generally accepted, marriage is based on
mutual love, respect, understanding, etc. As such, if a couple shares mutual
affections, does it really matter who asks whom to join in ‘holy matrimony?’
inappropriate for a woman to ask man to marry her.
man first and then a woman next as a suitable companion since he was lonely,”
Patience Ingabire, a mother of three girls, all married, said.
continues to change and the values and morals that society once treasured so
wedlock? What happened to the men who would wait and get married to a virgin?
So much has changed, what made you a social pariah yesterday has today become
common, but according to research women are either becoming bold or are
running out of patience.
probably from high school till university and strengthen the relationship
after that. It was always obvious that marriage followed. But the trend has
changed. In the past few years, women will wait even longer because of certain
reasons. The most common being the prospective husband wants to build a house,
start a business, then settle down with his wife. Why wouldn’t such a woman
all she could think about was a dream wedding but more importantly, a
breathtaking proposal from the boyfriend she had dated for five years.
‘will you marry me?’ is all I dreamed of.”
years later. So if a woman valued her man and suggested marriage, what
difference does it make?
men I talked said they would reject the proposal because this would mean the
woman has taken over their role. Others believe that if a woman proposes, it
means she is desperate. And that a desperate woman is comes off as cheap.
take too long to pop that question.
relationship for over two or three years, it becomes obvious that the next
step is marriage. “So if he is taking long, we start hinting indirectly,” she
instances when women force the men to marry them by saying ‘let’s get married
if you love me, show me or prove it with a ring.’ This is the real turn off.
Proposing, on the other hand, is not.
Source: The Rwanda Focus